Tag Archives: El Salvador

Nervously Going Back to El Salvador

Posted on by

I recently booked tickets to El Salvador for a week in December. I’m going down for a cousin’s wedding. This will be my first time back since 1998 and I’m a little nervous.

Since the end of El Salvador’s civil war the situation in the country has steadily declined. The war was supposed to improve life for its people. Instead the country has become less economically stable and more violent. Now a country the size and population of Massachusetts has an average murder rate of 16 people per week. Over 2,000 people have already been killed this year alone.

My family is no stranger to this violence. A cousin of mine almost died when her husband went on a shooting spree, attacking her, killing their baby and himself. She recovered both mentally and physically but other family members were not so lucky. An uncle on the other side of the family witnessed his son’s murder when they were carjacked.

I hear a lot about how violent the country is. It always makes me ask if everything my parents did was in vain. They gave up so much to try and change things. Here we are 30 years later and it’s about the same if not worse. My family made it and are better off now, but what about everyone else?

Maybe it’s the violence or the state of the country, but the thought of going back “home” makes me uneasy. I don’t think anything bad is going to happen but I know this will not be like visiting Panama, which is much safer. My family has been asking me to come back and I never go. I feel bad sometimes but it’s tough when my immediate family is not living there anymore. Even though I’m nervous I think the trip will be good. It has been a long time coming and I can’t wait to see my family.

A Couple of Updates

Posted on by

Our Network Grows

A couple months ago I wrote about how myself and other Salvadoran adoptees are working to build a support network for Salvadoran adoptees looking for their families. As I said in the post, people adopted from El Salvador during the war face a lot more emotional challenges than other adoptees. I know for myself it took several years to really reconcile everything that happened. Our hope is that we be a resource and a support system for each other.

Saturday night we will be having a dinner to welcome some new adoptees to our group. I’m really excited about meeting everyone and continuing to develop the group. I think this is an important step for the group and everybody attending.

We are planning more events in the future, including a conference type event that will focus on some of the human rights violations that took place in El Salvador at that time.

New Facebook Page

I’m a big fan of Facebook. I was the third person at my school to sign up (thanks to Caroline.) It’s a great platform for connecting and interacting with people. I set up a fan page for this site because it’s a great way to connect with everyone interested in this story and the upcoming book. If you are on facebook, we would love to hear from you.

//

Telling the Story

I’ve been asked to give a talk at Wentworth about story and hows its influenced my life. The talk will be tentatively be at 12pm on October 14th. I realize most people won’t be able to attend, but I am planning to stream the event live. More details about the talk and how you can watch coming soon.

How the Internet Helped Me Reunite With My Birth Family

Posted on by

Background

I was born in El Salvador, and my parents were revolutionaries in the civil war. I was separated from my family and adopted by Americans. I grew up here not knowing anything about my past. In 1997 I was reunited with my birth family and traveled down to Central America to meet them. Since then we have become a big family, thanks in part to the internet.

Using the Internet to Reunite

In 1997 we were contacted by phone and told my birth family had been looking for me. To find our number, Physicians for Human Rights preformed an internet search. This was very forward thinking at the time since the internet was still being established and Google hadn’t even taken off yet.

Over the years the internet has become an important part of how we stay in contact. I chat on messenger and video skype with many different members of my family on a daily basis. We don’t always get to see each other in person but this type of connection has kept us close.

Thanks to the internet I am able to help manage the IT systems that my birth father uses in his business. I can manage their server remotely and deploy applications to help them work more effectively. I am able help them with the skills I have learned here and be part of the family business.

How Has the Internet Helped You Connect?

I’m really interested to know if anyone else has used the internet this way. Either to find members of their family or to stay connected. I think its amazing how technology allows us to connect and stay connected in many different ways. If you have a similar type of experience please let me know in the comments or by emailing me!

Connecting With Me

My email is dewittn [at] anasmiracle [dot] com. If you are interested in hearing more about my story you should subscribe here or follow me on twitter here.

Building a Support Network

Posted on by

In the past few years I have met some more people who, like me, were separated from their families during the Salvadoran civil war. It’s great meeting them as we have a lot in common.

One aspect of our adoption that makes it unusual from other types is the fact that we come from a war torn country. Besides dealing with the identity issues that come from being adopted, there are a whole separate set of issues that come up in this situation. I won’t go into those right now, but they can be very difficult as we try to reconcile what happened to us and how it fits into our lives. Lets just say if we are lucky enough to find our families, sometimes that is only the beginning of the journey.

Since these issues can be very complex and hard to deal with we have been working on building a support network for Salvadoran adoptees. We are hoping to form a bigger group of people who have been reunited and those still looking. The idea is that we will be able to help each other through what can be a difficult process.

Not every child that was adopted during the 80’s was separated due to the war, but it’s impossible to tell when someone is starting out. We want to reach out to those looking for family or who have found family in El Salvador. If you know anyone that was adopted from El Salvador during the 80’s that is looking for family maybe you can help by pointing them to this site.

We are planning an event in the near future to bring us all together. More on that soon. If you are interested in hearing more about the network or the upcoming book, you should subscribe to the blog here or follow me on twitter here.

Today I Remember My Mother, R.I.P.

Posted on by

Ana MilagroI guess you could say that this is the day that changed my life forever. It was on this day 26 years ago, three days before my first birthday, that Honduran officials stormed the safe house where I was staying with my mother. At the time my family were fighting as revolutionaries in the Salvadorian Civil War.

We don’t know the exact details and probably never will. We think my mother was not in the house when it happened and was able to call my grandmother one last time. We will never know exactly what happened, but what I do know is that this was the last time I was with my mother.

While searching the safe house Honduran officials found me in a back room. I was placed in an orphanage for a year before getting adopted.

It’s a little strange to think that one moment in time completely changed my life forever. Had my mother left the movement like she wanted to, maybe I would have never been lost for 16 years. It’s hard to say what might have happened. But I don’t spend too much time thinking about that any more.

However, for many years I did think about what happened, and this day always was very hard for me. I felt like this was the day that everything went wrong, the day I lost the most important person to me; my mother.

A few years ago that started to change for me, when I realized how fortunate I have been in my life. I started to let her go.

I still think of her on this day, but it’s not the same. I think about what she had to give up. The strength it must have taken to put herself and her family in harm’s way. How impossibly hard it must have been. If I would have done the same. Most of all I think about how the sacrifices she made for me gave me a life and opportunities I might have never had otherwise.

This may seem a bit off topic but I’m a big Harry Potter fan. I suppose that part of me identifies with that character. His mother died for him so that he could do great things. I see that in my own life and its the reason that I try to live everyday to the fullest. I wanted to share a quote that J.K Rowling uses in the final Harry book. To me it says, even though the ones we love are gone, they still live on inside of us.

Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass, they see face to face; and their converse is free, as well as pure. This is the comfort of friends, that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal. – William Penn, More Fruits of Solitude

R.I.P. Ana Milgro Escobar de Coto. You will always be with me.

Eugenia’s Testimonial

Posted on by

First of all, I want to thank everyone who commented about the video. I’m glad that so many of you liked it. It was a great experience and I would like to thank Tod Gross for having me on the show.

This next video is a testimonial that one of my cousins gave at her church. Last year her husband shot her, their child and himself. She survived but the baby did not. It was very hard on my grandmother and that side of the family. My cousin has pulled through and despite everything that happened she is determined to continue to live her life. I can’t imagine how hard this must have been for her and I am proud of her for speaking about it so soon after it happened.

(The video is in Spanish and the audio quality is not the best, but if you are able to understand it then I recommend watching.)

Reestablishing Family Ties: Our Press Conference in The Boston Globe

Posted on by

Here is the article that appeared in today’s Boston Globe:

Reestablishing family ties – The Boston Globe: “Tears welled in Imelda Auron’s eyes before she began speaking.

The 31-year-old West Roxbury resident was one of thousands of Salvadoran children separated from their families during the 1980s, while the country was engulfed in civil war.

She had never spoken publicly about her situation or her reunion with her birth family.

But yesterday, sitting next to two other Massachusetts residents who have had similar experiences, Auron finally felt comfortable enough to discuss the joy, heartache, and anxiety that marked her quest to find her family.”

The article appeared in the City/Region section and had a couple of pictures that you can’t see as part of the online version. One of those pictures features half of my ear. 🙂

I only just met Imelda the other day, but I give her a lot of credit. I know it wasn’t easy for her to talk about what happened to her family. She did great. I hope talking about it will help her hear and deal with some of the feelings surrounding the death of her parents.

My sister and I have gotten a lot of comments on our video that we made, but what people may not realize is that it took many years of healing to be able to talk about everything so openly.

People may also not realize how lucky we are to live in a county that protects our freedom of speech. We may not always agree with our leaders and we may speak negatively about them but we don’t have to worry about the government storming into our homes and killing our loved ones.

I’m really happy we were able to get some press and I am very exited to work with everyone on building this network and getting our story out there.

Pro-Búsqueda Network

Posted on by

Pro-Búsqueda is putting together a network for families of people that have been reunited or who are thinking about reuniting. This is the brief description of what they are trying to create.

What we wanted to initially do was to put people who have been reunited in touch with each other, so they can share their experiences and look at positive ways to remain involved with their biological families, with Pro-Búsqueda and with El Salvador. We also see the network of ‘jóvenes reencontrados’ as a good way to pass on information to others in the same situation who have still not found, or made the trip back to meet, their biological families. As I’m sure you know, it’s quite a daunting experience to come back to a country which you hardly remember (or don’t remember at all), to meet a family which you didn’t know existed, so it would be great if there was some more support State-side for people trying to prepare for a reunion.

This sounds like a great idea to me. While meeting my family was a great experience for me, it was also difficult at times. Not difficult because we didn’t get along, but difficult because I had no idea what to expect from them or from their culture. My childhood in the US was much different from my siblings’ in Central America. It was also difficult because here are these people who you are supposed to be very close with, but you really don’t know them at all.

Honestly, I don’t know if I would have used a resource like this when I met my family, but that’s just because I was a lot younger back then.

I think this is a great idea and I can’t wait to get this going. On a side note, it looks like Sunnaze who I wrote about earlier is going to be involved with this as well.

Tim’s El Salvador Blog

Posted on by

We have been mentioned on Tim’s El Salvador Blog. Tim blogs about current news and events in El Salvador in an effort to inform other English speaks. He recently blogged about the Suzanne Berghaus story, Pro-Busqueda (the organization that reunited me with my family) and our blog.

“This story highlights the work of Asociación Pro-Busqueda, the organization, founded by Father Jon Cortina, which works to help Salvadoran families find the thousands of children kidnapped or otherwise ‘disappeared’ during the civil war. From Pro-Busqueda’s web site:

Pro-Busqueda was founded on the basis of a simple but brutal question that rips with pain the hearts of the mothers and fathers who live in anguish: Where is my son? Where is my daughter? From these questions the Association has over time evolved its mission to its now solid form of to “Search and locate children who disappeared as a result of the armed conflict in El Salvador, and once found, to promote the reunification and reintegration of the family unit. In this fashion the demands for truth, justice and reparation, which the victims have against the Salvadoran state, come to pass.”

Another of Pro-Busqeda’s success stories is story of Nelson (or Roberto when he was a baby in El Salvador). Nelson has set up a blog where his families’ stories are told called Ana’s Miracle. It’s dedicated to his mother, a guerilla fighter who was killed and her baby boy placed in an orphanage.”

Thanks Tim for mentioning us. My sister and I both appreciate it.