In Adoption and Life, You Are Not Alone

Posted on by
Reply

Saturday Night’s Dinner

Those of you who been following the Facebook page know that this past Saturday I had a dinner with other Salvadoran adoptees. It was a great event. I met some new people and reconnected with some old friends. I thought about the weekend, and some of the themes that were talked about during the dinner. I decided to make this video as a way to recap the weekend.

You Are Not Alone

One of the themes that came up during the dinner was the idea of being alone. Not because we didn’t have great families and friends to lean on, but the uniqueness of our experiences made it hard for people to relate our feelings. I know that when I first heard of someone else being reunited with their family it meant a lot to me. I felt like there was finally someone who really understood what I had gone through. I had the feeling that some of the others felt that this weekend too.

If there was one take away from this weekend, it’s that you are not alone. No matter what you have gone through or are going through there are people out there who have gone through similar situations. While they may not understand completely, talking to them can help you deal with the issues at hand.

I was asked a couple times how I was able to be so open about everything that happened. I think that a big part had to do with the fact that I talked to others about what I was going through. Although they didn’t always understand, sometimes they said something that made me stop, think and eventually feel better. So if you are feeling alone try to find someone who has gone through something similar. You never know what might happen.

More to Come

Thank you everyone that has been leaving comments on the Facebook page. I put up an interview with one of the co-producers of a documentary about the effects of the war 17 years later. It’s going to be a great film, so check out the video to find out more. If you haven’t joined the page then you should join, and if you aren’t on Facebook then now is your chance. I’m also planning some more interviews so check back soon.

A Couple of Updates

Posted on by
Reply

Our Network Grows

A couple months ago I wrote about how myself and other Salvadoran adoptees are working to build a support network for Salvadoran adoptees looking for their families. As I said in the post, people adopted from El Salvador during the war face a lot more emotional challenges than other adoptees. I know for myself it took several years to really reconcile everything that happened. Our hope is that we be a resource and a support system for each other.

Saturday night we will be having a dinner to welcome some new adoptees to our group. I’m really excited about meeting everyone and continuing to develop the group. I think this is an important step for the group and everybody attending.

We are planning more events in the future, including a conference type event that will focus on some of the human rights violations that took place in El Salvador at that time.

New Facebook Page

I’m a big fan of Facebook. I was the third person at my school to sign up (thanks to Caroline.) It’s a great platform for connecting and interacting with people. I set up a fan page for this site because it’s a great way to connect with everyone interested in this story and the upcoming book. If you are on facebook, we would love to hear from you.

//

Telling the Story

I’ve been asked to give a talk at Wentworth about story and hows its influenced my life. The talk will be tentatively be at 12pm on October 14th. I realize most people won’t be able to attend, but I am planning to stream the event live. More details about the talk and how you can watch coming soon.

RIP Senator Ted Kennedy – by Derek

Posted on by
Reply

This past week, on August 25th (a day with some significance for us to begin with) the world lost a great man, Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts. Others have already given much more fitting eulogies to his accomplishments, but I wanted to put into words my gratitude for what he did for our family.

My brother’s adoption was certainly not normal. The beginning was a very rushed, last minute affair. In order for my parents to go to Honduras to adopt him, they needed their fingerprints cleared by the FBI. That process normally would take weeks (weeks that they didn’t have I might add), but Senator Kennedy pulled some strings and it got done in a few days.

The act in and of itself may not have meant much to the Senator, just helping out his constituents, something he did on a daily basis for over 45 years. But for all of us it means a great deal. Without it, the events that have been detailed in these posts could not have been possible.

Thank you Senator Kennedy for everything you have done for us and others. You will be missed.

RIP

How the Internet Helped Me Reunite With My Birth Family

Posted on by
Reply

Background

I was born in El Salvador, and my parents were revolutionaries in the civil war. I was separated from my family and adopted by Americans. I grew up here not knowing anything about my past. In 1997 I was reunited with my birth family and traveled down to Central America to meet them. Since then we have become a big family, thanks in part to the internet.

Using the Internet to Reunite

In 1997 we were contacted by phone and told my birth family had been looking for me. To find our number, Physicians for Human Rights preformed an internet search. This was very forward thinking at the time since the internet was still being established and Google hadn’t even taken off yet.

Over the years the internet has become an important part of how we stay in contact. I chat on messenger and video skype with many different members of my family on a daily basis. We don’t always get to see each other in person but this type of connection has kept us close.

Thanks to the internet I am able to help manage the IT systems that my birth father uses in his business. I can manage their server remotely and deploy applications to help them work more effectively. I am able help them with the skills I have learned here and be part of the family business.

How Has the Internet Helped You Connect?

I’m really interested to know if anyone else has used the internet this way. Either to find members of their family or to stay connected. I think its amazing how technology allows us to connect and stay connected in many different ways. If you have a similar type of experience please let me know in the comments or by emailing me!

Connecting With Me

My email is dewittn [at] anasmiracle [dot] com. If you are interested in hearing more about my story you should subscribe here or follow me on twitter here.

Building a Support Network

Posted on by
Reply

In the past few years I have met some more people who, like me, were separated from their families during the Salvadoran civil war. It’s great meeting them as we have a lot in common.

One aspect of our adoption that makes it unusual from other types is the fact that we come from a war torn country. Besides dealing with the identity issues that come from being adopted, there are a whole separate set of issues that come up in this situation. I won’t go into those right now, but they can be very difficult as we try to reconcile what happened to us and how it fits into our lives. Lets just say if we are lucky enough to find our families, sometimes that is only the beginning of the journey.

Since these issues can be very complex and hard to deal with we have been working on building a support network for Salvadoran adoptees. We are hoping to form a bigger group of people who have been reunited and those still looking. The idea is that we will be able to help each other through what can be a difficult process.

Not every child that was adopted during the 80’s was separated due to the war, but it’s impossible to tell when someone is starting out. We want to reach out to those looking for family or who have found family in El Salvador. If you know anyone that was adopted from El Salvador during the 80’s that is looking for family maybe you can help by pointing them to this site.

We are planning an event in the near future to bring us all together. More on that soon. If you are interested in hearing more about the network or the upcoming book, you should subscribe to the blog here or follow me on twitter here.

All About My Mother’s Book On My Adoption

Posted on by
4

A lot of people have been asking about my mother’s book which is all about my adoption and reunification. In this video I talk about where we are at with the book and what will be in it.

When is it Coming Out?

We are currently looking for a publisher and if we can’t find anything by this winter we are going to self publish. Unfortunately we do not have a date yet but when we do we will post it!

Where Can You Get it?

Rather then trying to send it out to everyone who wants one we are going to get it listed on Amazon or another online retailer.

Whats in the Book?

The book is written from my mother’s point of view and talks about our experiences as an adoptive family as this journey unfolded. It has 6 chapters which cover various aspects of the story. I have had a chance to read the book in its various forms and I think she did a great job. I don’t remember the chapter names exactly but this should give you a taste of what the book is all about.

  1. Adoption – This is all about my parents’ journey to adopt me in Honduras and the mystery that surrounded the process.
  2. Rediscovery –  This chapter talks about the time period where we first learned of my birth family and how I was separated.
  3. Reunification – In December of 1997 we went down to meet my birth family for the first time. This chapter is all about that experience.
  4. My families’ story – This chapter details how my parents joined the revolution in El Salvador and what lead up to my separation.
  5. My Birth Mother – This is a very special chapter for me. My adoptive mother tries to give my birth mother a voice through interviews she did with various family members.
  6. The Civil War – The last chapter is all about our story in the context of the larger Civil War. It talks about other children who disappeared from their families.

We are very excited about the book and hope that we can get it out soon. The best way to keep informed as to when it is coming out is to subscribe via RSS, email or follow me on twitter.

Comments, questions? Please feel free to leave your comments below or contact me directly: dewittn [at] anasmiracle.com