Tag Archives: War

Back from El Salvador, overwhelmed, excited and exhausted.

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Update: This was originally posted April 5th, on Kickstarter but since not everyone gets those updates I’m reposting it here.

John Films/Directs an interview

Wow, what an amazing week. When John and I first started this project we had no idea what to expect. In fact, after completing kickstarter in the Fall, we debated a lot about the best way to start this project. Then about a month and a half ago I received an email from Pro-Busqueda telling me about the Day of The Disappeared in March. John and I weren’t sure what to expect but we knew we had to be there.

This week has been beyond anything either of us could have imagined. For 7 days, we met other disappeared youth and their families. We talked with government officials including the president of El Salvador and the first lady. We interviewed survivors from the war who told us personal stories of suffering and loss. It was an emotional roller coaster.

Amazingly, despite all the terrible things that have happened to this country and its people, there is still so much beauty. The strength and courage of the people who live here is unbelievable. While many remain skeptical about the possibility of long term change, their view of what happened is remarkable.

I was floored when a survivor of one of the bloodiest massacres in all of Central America said to me: “Maybe I have suffered more than others, maybe others have suffered more than me, but what’s important is finding the missing children.” This is coming from someone who as an 11 year old child witnessed his entire village wiped out and then was tortured by military forces. He is not bitter or angry. All he wants is for the disappeared to be found.

John and I know that the footage we got was special. These stories are truly amazing and deserve to be heard. Our initial reaction was to post the videos online, as soon as we got home, so you could see for yourself. However I’m not sure if this does the stories justice.

One thing I have learned from John is that the way you introduce people is important. We want to make sure everyone understands the significance of what was said and it is presented in the best way possible. This of course means sitting on the footage while we sort through it, clean it up and edit it.

Balancing the editorial process with the excitement we both have for getting these stories out there is hard. From the start, we wanted this project to be as open and transparent as possible. All of our footage would be online right now if we thought it was the best way to approach the subject matter. As we work on the next steps we will be looking for creative ways to share our experiences and footage with you. I’m not sure what form that will take but we will let you know as soon as we can.

Honoring the disappeared in El Salvador, a turning point we are hoping to be a part of.

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On March 29th, 2011 the Salvadoran government is planning several days of events to honor the children that were disappeared during the country’s 13 year long Civil war. These events include concerts as well as breakfast with the president of El Salvador, Mauricio Funes and his wife. Myself and six other adopted Salvadoran/Americans are hoping to attend these events. This is an important turning point in the history of El Salvador and a huge opportunity for our voices to be heard. With some help we can return to the country which, until now, denied our existence and begin to effect meaningful change.

Day of the disappeared

During the civil war in El Salvador many children were separated from their families. Some were forcibly taken by the military while others where lost in the chaos of war. After being taken from their families the children were then put up for adoption and sold to unknowing parents. They were adopted in El Salvador and to the rest of the world. Now adults, many of us are trying to piece together what happened during the war and how to reconcile the events of the past.

Now, for the first time, the government is taking steps to recognize and promote awareness of what happened . The other week I received word from Pro-Busqueda, an organization dedicated to reuniting the family’s of the disappeared, the Salvadoran government is planning a number of events around the day of the disappeared.

On March 11, 2005, the Human Rights Court ruled in the case of Serrano Cruz Sisters v. El Salvador, initiated by the girls disappearance of Ernestina and Erlinda Serrano Cruz, the first 7 years of age and the second 3 years old, which occurred in June 1982, in Chalatenango.

At sentencing, the Court established, as a remedy, the obligation of the Salvadoran State to designate a day dedicated to children who disappeared during the internal armed conflict in order to sensitize society on the need for Salvadorans working together to find the best solutions that lead to the truth about the whereabouts of the children.

On January 5, 2007, the Legislature declared March 29 of each year, “Day dedicated to missing children during the armed conflict.”

Since then, or even before-the commemoration activities around that date have been driven solely by the victims themselves and by the Association for the search, while mostly state institutions had remained aloof from them.

However, this will not be anymore. When the January 16, 2010, as part of the celebration of the eighteenth anniversary of the signing of the Peace Accords, President of the Republic, my dear husband, apologized to the child victims of conflict, took the decision to take, as appropriate, the responsibility to mark the Day of missing children in the spirit that established the Court, ie, as a remedy for victims whose end, to promote national awareness children victims of disappearance and to promote joint efforts of all sectors to find them and give them back their rights have been violated.

Having our voices be heard

My self and a number of other Salvadoran/American adoptees are planing a trip to El Salvador in March. We feel this is a big step for the Salvadoran government and could be a turning point for the country. Our goal is simple: to be heard.

During wars, when someone is disappeared they are rarely heard from ever again. Most vanish without a trace. With these events we are being given a chance to connect with other disappeared children in a moment of solidarity. One of the events planned during that time is a breakfast with the president of El Salvador and his wife. While we aren’t exactly sure what form this will take it is an opportunity for us to speak directly with people who are actively trying to address everything that happened during our awful war.

The challenge

As we all know, travel can be expensive and some of us are not in a position financially to make this trip. I would hate to think that the only reason we could not participate in this historic event was money. I know times are though but I feel strongly that this is something we can get help with.

Since we are going to be staying with family and friends the only real expense is going to be airfare. To get us all there I estimate that it will cost about $5,000. That’s a lot for the six of us, but there might be people out there willing to help us.

I am however in somewhat of a difficult position. In the fall I asked friends and family to help finance a documentary film I wanted to create. 170 people generously gave to the project and made it a reality. So less than six months later can I really turn to them for financial help again? For me, the answer is no.

Since raising money is not an option I am thinking of other ways to get the trip sponsored. I think there could be a few different ways of doing this but this is what I have come up with so far.

Sponsoring the trip

This trip is going to be a very meaningful and emotional trip for all of us. I know that we will want to remember this trip for a long time. I would love for my fellow adoptees to have a way to record their thoughts or experience. Either for this blog or for themselves. I was thinking of looking into borrowing video or photographic cameras for the trip so they could record everything that happened. Then I realized this might be an opportunity for sponsorship.

Perhaps a company/store/website that sells or rents video/still cameras would be interested in sponsoring the trip. I know companies give sample products out all the time, so how about a real world test? We could use your equipment while on the trip and give feedback about what it was like.

I’m not looking for a freebie, so I’m interested in finding a way to make this work for all involved. I would personally be willing to add a sponsorship link to your company on the site. I would also be willing to provide an honest review of the product or service.

I think this could be a good opportunity for a company, but then again that could just be my opinion. I’ve never tried something like this so I don’t know if anyone would be interested in this but it’s worth a shot. What’s the alternative? Not try, and miss out on a once in a lifetime event?

How you can help

Over the next month, I will be reaching out to different companies to talk about sponsoring the trip. If you have connections to any organization or business that might be interested in sponsoring us, please, please contact me. There is only about a month before we have to leave (March 25th) so time is of the essence.

I’m also open to other ideas/suggestions about ways to raise funds. If you have any ideas about how to raise the $5,000 for the trip I would love to hear those as well. Here are a few that I came up with but I don’t know how effective they would be.

– Airline sponsorship
– Donated air miles
– Some type of travel grant

Thank you so much for your support, it means so much to us.

For the people the people of the revolution, Twitter changes everything.

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Image by elhamalawy

Last week we witnessed a historic event as the president of Egypt, who had been in power for 30 years, was forced out of office as a result of 17 days of protests by the Egyptian people. In some ways this revolution reminds me of the revolution that took place in El Salvador 30 years ago. Both were trying to free themselves from oppressive regimes. Both were lead by youth who were sick of the status quo and wanted change.

To me there is one striking difference between the two revolutions. That is the role technology had in enabling the revolution. During the past couple weeks, people have debated about the importance of the internet to the revolution in Egypt. Some say the that the revolution could not have happened without Twitter or Facebook. Others say revolutions are about people and that is more important than what tools they use . I want to share my thoughts about the role of technology in this revolution.

Gladwell is half right

One of the most prominent people against the importance of “social media” during the revolution has been Malcolm Gladwell.

From Gladwell’s piece on social media:

“The kind of activism associated with social media isn’t like this at all. The platforms of social media are built around weak ties. Twitter is a way of following (or being followed by) people you may never have met. Facebook is a tool for efficiently managing your acquaintances, for keeping up with the people you would not otherwise be able to stay in touch with. That’s why you can have a thousand “friends” on Facebook, as you never could in real life.”

Gladwell’s main argument is that relationships on the internet are based on weak ties and revolutions are created by strong ties among people who trust each other. I think he is absolutely right about this. Sites like Facebook and Twitter do work by leveraging weak ties. For the most part these weak ties don’t amount to much because online no one cares about you.

As Malcolm points out, revolutions are dangerous stuff. You do not risk your life or the life of your family for weak ties. You need a strong connection to people already in the revolution if you are going to join it. This was certainly true in my father’s case. He joined the revolution in El Salvador because of his cousin. He, in turn, brought in his then girlfriend and my soon to be mother.

Caldwell is one of my favorite authors and a very smart man. I think he makes some really great points in his article but I also think he misses something. Technology changes the way we communicate and organize. Those changes have a very important impact on the way modern revolutions take place. To me, saying that technology does not matter is saying that those differences do not matter.

This is how technology changes things and why its important.

Power in Numbers

One argument against the importance of the internet in Egypt can be stated as “revolutions are about people.” Revolutions happened before the internet and it is simply a tool of the times. While this is true I think that is an easy thing to say when you are not the one being put in harms way.

When the government can murder your entire family for opposing them, it changes things. It makes it so much harder to become a person of the revolution. A benefit of modern technology and all the millions of people online is a degree of anonymity. While it’s impossible to be completely anonymous when a person is one of thousands Tweeting about change, it’s a lot harder for the government to single them out.

Strong ties and social networks

Ideas are like viruses. They spread from person to person through a society. If the virus is strong enough you get affected by it and want to bring all your friends along. Revolution is an idea virus as well. It’s an idea with a very dangerous and risky outcome. That is why you need strong ties to spread it.

If you are weakly connected to someone on Facebook or Twitter the revolution virus will not spread to them, the risk is too big. However, if your ties are based on real world meaningful relationships, then social networks are like throwing gas on the fire. The idea virus spread so much faster because you can so easily see who has been infected.

Forced Transparency

One of the effects of all of this technology is forced transparency. We live in a world where “secret” government cables can be published online for all to see. Where even the hottest tech company cannot hide their secrets.

During the revolution in El Salvador, many American politicians condemned the revolution calling it a communist uprising. Imagine if Obama or Bush tried to call the revolution in Egypt a “terrorist uprising.” Would anyone take them seriously?

The all seeing eye

In Lord of the Rings, the evil Sauron uses an eye of fire to watch over middle earth. It flits around looking for Frodo and the ring.

“Concealed within his fortress, the lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and flesh.”

Modern media coverage is kind of like the eye of Sauron. It constantly scans the globe for the next event to focus the world’s attention on. From an earthquake in Haiti to Chilean miners there is nowhere modern media can’t take us. We were even able to pierce the earth and get video from underground as the miners were recused. When the eye of Sauron is focused on your country you better act accordingly. If the Egyptian revolution had been met with bullets instead of fire hoses the global response might have been very different.

Unstoppable Communication

At the end of one of my favorite SyFy flicks, Serenity, the hero Malcolm Renalds uncovers a dangerous secret about the government. He turns to his friend, Mr. Universe, to help him broadcast the information across the galaxy. Unfortunately, government forces get to him before Malcolm can. On his death bed Mr. Universe tells Malcolm about the backup system he can use. With his last breath he says:

“They can’t stop the signal, Mal. They can never stop the signal.”

They can’t stop the signal anymore. The egyptian government had to shutdown internet service and phone services for the entire country and still they couldn’t stop the signal. After the government shutdown the internet  Twitter and Google created a special number for people to call in their Tweets. One of the interesting quirks about modern technology is that there’s always a backdoor.

It’s harder to disappear

It amazes me that given everything that was happening in Egypt we could track the status of a single imprisoned Google employee. The sight 1000memories.com created a special page where Egyptians could upload names and photos of people who died during the uprising.

During the Salvadoran revolution people were frequently disappeared, their voices erased from history. When someone vanished, you never knew what happened to them. There was no website for them, no news coverage, they were just gone into the blackness, with only the families of the disappeared left wondering what happened.

Everyone has a voice

With the explosion of cheap portable electronics everyone has a voice. You don’t need to be a reporter with fancy equipment. People in Egypt were able to take video and photos of what was happening and post them online. The images weren’t filtered and didn’t need approval. They were online for all to see and react to.

Speed of information

One of the bloodiest incidents in the Salvadoran war was the massacre at El Mozote. Over 200 men women and children lost their lives in a brutal campaign to punish guerrilla fighters. I won’t go into the details but you can read about it here. I was surprised to learn that this event was not reported in any major newspaper until almost a month after it happened.

Could you imagine a major news organization being a month late on the Egyptian revolution? In a world with 24 hour news coverage information moves fast. We can watch in real time as events unfold.

Conclusion

I think Malcolm Gladwell is half right. Revolutions take serious action by brave individuals. The weak ties that are prevalent on social media do not constitute a revolution. What he gets wrong is that these tools have changed the way revolutions take place and that change is important.

I think Thomas Freedman explains it best:

“The Arab world has 100 million young people today between the ages of 15 and 29, many of them males who do not have the education to get a good job, buy an apartment and get married. That is trouble. Add in rising food prices, and the diffusion of Twitter, Facebook and texting, which finally gives them a voice to talk back to their leaders and directly to each other, and you have a very powerful change engine.”

In the 1980s, many young Salvadorans organized only to be brutally crushed by an oppressive government. The war in El Salvador dragged out for 13 years, with thousands of people killed and disappeared. Even after the war ended it took almost two decades before the party of the revolutionaries gained power. By today’s standards, that kind of change is glacial.

Contrast that to the revolution in Egypt which only took 17 days. I know it was a long time in the making but the revolution part lasted just over two weeks. How many lives were saved because the technology existed for their message to be heard, for the idea to spread and for people to organize effectively?

So, do I think all of this technology breeds revolutions? Certainly not. Technology alone does not create a revolution, nor does it guarantee its success. Last summer we saw Iran using these same tools with a different outcome. They also do not ensure there will be no bloodshed. If a revolution takes place in Iran again it might not be as peaceful as Egypt.

I understand very well that the importance of these tools can sometimes be overstated. They do not create a utopia and do not fix the world’s problems. They are just tools that make it easier to communicate and organize. If they did not exist, people would find other ways to effect change, but at what cost?

The shift that technology brings may seem insignificant, but to the people who risk everything fighting for what they believe in it changes everything.

Thirty years ago, when my parents started their revolution, they did not have these tools. There was no way for their voices to be heard. Their only option was to pick up arms and fight. A choice which they paid dearly for. Now anyone of us can create an idea, a website, a video that can influence millions of people and for that, the world has changed.

Return to El Salvador: Visiting Mariano

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Luis, Mariano and Myself

After spending a couple of days with the Escobars, I thought I should reach out to my father’s side of the family. My cousin Luis picked me up at my Aunt Dalilla’s house. We were going to his brother’s house for dinner. Before we got to dinner, we stopped by his house to wait for my cousins Cecelia and Doris. Luis lives in a small apartment on top of his father’s car parts and accessories store.

Luis’ father Mariano meets us at the doorway and invites us in so we can talk. I make my way up to the second level which is filled with chairs and other supplies. Clearly it’s being used as storage for the shop. We go up another flight of stairs to the apartment. There is one main living room. To the left is a kitchen and study room. The bedroom is to the right. The only bathroom is in the living room and is not entirely closed off. It’s tight quarters with little privacy, but it’s home. We take a seat at a big table in the living room.

I met Mariano once before in 1998. It was an emotional experience for his wife. She remembered bathing me the night before my mother and I fled the county. Mariano looks a lot older now. I don’t remember exactly what he looked like back then, but now he looks old enough to be my grandfather.

He tells me about how they used to listen to the clandestine radios during the war. They would have to turn the radio all the way down so no one could hear it. He explains that people couldn’t sit and talk as we are. He tells me how he and his wife helped my mother during the war. They took care of me and helped her get things she needed.

“Is this where you lived back then?” I ask.

He says “yes”.

I look around as I realize my mother must have stayed here with me. I can almost picture her walking around the apartment with me in her arms.

Talking to him reminds me so much of my father. The way they move is so similar. However, there is something different about Mariano. He is calm and collected. There is a sadness about him but he is not resentful. He has had a hard life and yet, I feel no bitterness or anger from him.

“Do you think things have changed?” He’s not so sure. He says, my parents fought because people were repressed and poor. 30 years later, they are still poor and all that is different is the leadership.

“What do you think about what they did?”

“Your parents were fighting for change. They believed in what they were doing but it didn’t turn out the way they thought it would. The U.S. was helping the government and this is why it didn’t work out”

I explain to him that I am in many ways the product of America. It was American foreign policy that separated me, and American culture that made me who I am. Then he says something I did not expected.

“It wasn’t the people of America that did this, it was a few powerful people who acted in their own self interest that did this.” I’m blown away by his insight and wisdom. Most of the people I have talked to about the war do not have such a clear understanding of the situation.

He talks about the gangs in El Salvador. How people will rob the busses and shoot you if you don’t give them what they want. Sadly he knows all to well how about this. A couple years ago his son was killed during a carjacking. He was sitting next to him when it happened.

“Thank God that you, Ernesto and Eva didn’t have to grow up in this.”

From where he sits we are the lucky ones. In his eyes even though we were separated from each other, we were still better off.

This trip has been difficult because it showed me what life here might have been like and it made me question the decisions my parents made. It made me wish for a simpler life, where my family is not separated. But what if we had never been separated? Would it have worked out like I imagine, or would life have been just as hard as it has been for Marino.

Would I have been happy with a life in El Salvador, or would I be searching for more? Searching for the life I have now.

Returning to El Salvador: The Life I Might Have Had

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It has been 12 years since I last set foot in El Salvador. When I first came, I was 17, I didn’t speak any spanish, and had just met my birth family the year before. My adoptive parents, my brother and I had decided to spend the holidays of 1998 touring Central America. We went to Panama, Costa Rica and then El Salvador. I don’t remember much from back then, only meeting lots of people who looked like me that I knew little about. I had a feeling this time it would be very different.

As my plane made its final decent, we flew past the city and out towards the coast. We headed out to sea, as if we only passing by this tiny country, the same size and population of Massachusetts. Over clear blue waters we did a 180 degree turn and headed back toward land. Moderate winds bounced us up and down some as we got closer to the runway. Instead of thickly settled housing I saw small shacks and green fields. Instead of grid locked city traffic I saw famers on horse back.

I got off the plane and headed toward customs. An agent greeted us and directed us into the appropriate lines. She asked me if I was Salvadoran and with a little smirk on my face I replied no. After sorting through all the days luggage at the only operational baggage carousel, I was on my way. Walking out of the airport I was confronted by a couple hundred people waiting for various family members to arrive. This was a little overwhelming, but luckily I found my cousin without any difficulty. We then made the 45 minute drive back into the city.

That night my cousin, her two sisters and my aunt took me out for buffalo wings. Watching the three of them interact and joke around reminded me of me and my siblings. They seemed so close and…almost normal. Then a strange thought hit me. Am I looking at the life I could have had? Is this what it would have been like if we had never been separated?

Rarely do we get to experience “what could have been.” We often imagine how our lives might have turned out, but to be confronted by it is something else entirely.

It made me question the choices my parents made. El Salvador is still a mess. There is still a lot of crime, violence and lack of opportunity. Did the revolution really change anything? If they had not joined, would it have mattered? My aunts and uncles didn’t fight and their lives seemed to turn out alright. I’m sure life in El Salvador isn’t easy, but at least they have each other. At least they are together.

The Orphanage – By Nelson Roberto

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When the gunfire stops a women lays dead face down in the door way. Two men have been shot as well. They lie slumped over rifles by there side. As the police go through the house I’m found crying in my crib. Next to me are two other girls. Social services is called in to deal with us. As I’m being as taken away a news paper photographer stops us to take a picture. One police officer is holding me while the male officer next her tries to get me to smile. It works. My face lights up in a happy little smile completely unaware of what has just happened and what is to come.

I’m taken to a private orphanage in Tegucigalpa Honduras. This will be my home for the next year. I will spend most of my days in a my crib straiting out of the window on the third floor of this clay building. I won’t learn how to walk or speak very well. I won’t eat very well either. But I will be fed.

During this time a notice is put into the paper asking anyone who might be missing a child to come forward and claim me. No one does, so six months after I arrive I am legally put up for adoption. I will wait another six month before I meet my parents.

It’s May 1980 and I have just turned two. My adoptive parents arrived in the country a few weeks earlier. Today we will meet for the first time.

My soon to be dad wakes up early and staring making coffee. My soon to be mom lays in bed a few more minuets for before joining him. They are tired from a long night of nervous sleep.

“What do you think he will looks like?”
“We will know very soon.” My mother replies.

They shower and dress quick anticipating what is to come.

My dad paces nervously waiting for the social worker to arrive. “Why do you think they wouldn’t let any picture be taken of him? Do you think might be something wrong with him that they don’t want us to know about?”

“I don’t know hunny we will see soon enough.”

“Where are they? They should have been here by now.” my dad says anxiously

“They will come try to relax” my mom replies trying to hide her own anxiety.

“I’m going to call to make sure” My dad hurries off to make the call. He return shortly. “She’s not home.” He reports disappointedly

Then the door bell rings. Finally the social worker has come to take them to the orphanage.

As they arrive they are greeted by one of the staff members. Not wasting any time my dad asks. “What is he like?”

“Hes a sweet little boy but he will cry and cry if he is not fed first.” She answers shaking her head

“Oh?” my mom inquires.

“Don’t worry hes really nice” she replies quickly “but he doesn’t talk much. He only knows how to say agua. That means water and he says it when hes hungry or when he needs anything else.”

As they walk through the rooms filled with cribs, some of the children poke their heads up to see the visitors.

“I wonder if we could adopt more than one.” My dad wonders aloud.

“Here we are.” The staff member stops at the last crib on the third floor. “Oh and one more thing…” she says as a smile crosses her face “he really loves Coke.”

This is the moment my had parents been waiting for. As they approach the crib they see me lying down in a cloth diaper and an old t-shirt. I look up with a blank expression on my face not knowing what to expect.

My mom hands me a Paddington bear with a blue raincoat and red hat. I play with it curiously. Its the first stuffed animal I’ve ever had. They pick me up and hold me. I’m not sure what to make of this. They takes turns holding me and playing my with long curly brown hair. But now they must leave to finalize the adoption.

They put me back in the crib and say good bye. They will be back for me tomorrow once it is official. As they drive away I watch from my window, holding my Paddington close, wondering who are these people and if I’ll ever see them again.